I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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