another moral hangover. fuck.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
