I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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