Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
