So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
