she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
