Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
