Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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