What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
How naked do you want me to be?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
