I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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