Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
