So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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