Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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