if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
