I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Houston, we have a blender
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
