Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
i think im in europe. pls send help
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
