Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
