dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
