office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
