is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
