so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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