so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Randomize
