Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
