Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
