woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
