I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
My dad just said "fuck circus"
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
