Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
