Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I said "one day" and that day is not today
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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