I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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