SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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