we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
