I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
