The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
