Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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