porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
