In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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