conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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