you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
