from now on my penis is your penis
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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