Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
it glows. i had to have it.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
