After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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