I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
