He is such a slut. More and more my type.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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