Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Randomize
