What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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