i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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