Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
