I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
It was confusing and full of hummus
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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