it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
