I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize
