she kept yelling 'call me bella'
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
