I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
