My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
